By Emilee Phillips
Staff Writer
A murder is afoot in the parking lot of Carolinas Golf Association — that is, a “murder” of crows, the ornithological label for a group of the large, loud and crafty birds.
Crows are highly intelligent, capable of using tools and holding grudges. They don’t forget faces — or parking spots.
They’re also known to be loud and pesky when they take a liking to certain areas, as the folks at the Carolinas Golf Association off Midland Road in Southern Pines can tell you. They’ve had a murder hanging over their heads for more than a year now.
The birds’ antics have caused significant damage to multiple work vans, as well as personal vehicles, from fly-by pooping and casual pecking to outright attacks on pieces of trim and weatherstripping. One employee’s sunroof suffered more than $4,000 in damages.
Enough was enough. Chris Zeh, the company’s director of championships and tournaments, felt obligated to try and stop the rampage.
Unable to resist a moment of pun, he nevertheless landed it by saying, “I never thought I would have to deal with a murder in the pines!”
Research was conducted. Options were weighed. Since official intervention takes permits, time and experts, the office offensive began with a simple decoy owl as a deterrent. The staff named him Oscar.
“We read that it’s best to move it around often,” said Zeh.
Employees took turns escorting Oscar around the parking lot, placing it on top of cars and even on the office roof. It seemed to help at first, but the crows did not get their beaks out of joint.
“We noticed they caught on to our scheme,” Zeh said.
In an interview with The Pilot about the CGA’s troubles, Susan Campbell, co-founder and science director at Cape Fear Bird Observatory, said she could see vultures making a flap, but crows “are very intelligent creatures, so it doesn’t entirely surprise me.”
There is, after all, a reason why farmers use scarecrows in their fields, she said.
As the murder at CGA’s offices escalated, Zeh began sending humorous email updates to the company. Employees have scattered anti-crow propaganda fliers throughout the office to drive the message home — and make light of a situation that’s seemingly out of their hands.
“We try to have fun. I think they got a kick out of it,” he said. “It would be kind of funny if it wasn’t so annoying and causing damage to people’s cars.”
With more crows returning, the office then called Wild Birds Unlimited for advice. That call turned into a 45-minute information session that barely skimmed the surface on the fascinating world of crows. An employee returned with a decoy crow, who got named Chester.
“We set Chester on the ground next to Oscar to let them know we mean business,’” said Zeh.
A few crows watched from the trees as employees laid Chester at Oscar’s feet. Might the bird brains interpret it as an owl responsible for fowl play?
CGA employees were warned that crows hold funerals, but no one knew quite the extent of what that meant. Then they heard lots of commotion coming from the parking lot that same day.
“It was wild. They were squawking and hooting and hollering. I mean, they were loud,” said Zeh.
Apparently when a crow dies, the rest of the murder gathers around it, holding what appears to be a kind of last rite before eventually abandoning the area.
But even funerals can have things go wrong. In the middle of Chester’s “memorial,” a bird thought to be a red-tailed hawk swooped in, scattering the crows and abruptly disrupting the ceremony. No one expected that, least of all the crows.
Chester’s ultimate demise does not end here, though.
In a company email update on March 31, Zeh said, “In an effort to allow for proper mourning, the CGA team decided to leave Chester in place for the time being. However, it appears the hawk returned, seized Chester with its talons, and carried him off into the trees. We may never see him again, but his impact will not be forgotten.”
Employees have since installed reflective ribbon on the CGA van’s rear windshield wipers, and provided more for employees to use on their cars if needed. Since last week, Zeh said, the murder appears to be dying down, but it’s too soon to say if the flock has fled the scene.
The crows should hope that’s the case. Desperate employees have discovered that, like turkeys and pheasants, crows have an official hunting season, albeit an irregular one. Crow hunting stretches from Aug. 1 through Feb. 28 — but only on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Crows may also be hunted on Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and Independence Day, except when these days fall on a Sunday.
In his most recent email update to staff, Zeh concluded with, “Thank you to everyone who contributed to this effort. With any luck, we can move forward and continue to coexist peacefully with nature and each other.”
The last thing anyone at the CGA wants to do is ruffle any feathers.
Contact Emilee Phillips at emilee@thepilot.com.
